Global Domination

Watch out for the Thai.  We have uncovered a form of patriotism so expertly camouflaged, so seemingly innocent, that it is suckering countless travelers from all over the world.  Let me lay it out for you:

You arrive in Bangkok on a Sunday morning with a place to stay, but no plans.  So..you decide to take a stroll down a chaotic street with a name you sound ridiculous trying to pronounce.  (Fact:  you are a walking target) A sixty year old woman approaches.  She is an English teacher with a smile and a mouthful of compliments.  Adorable.  She lets you in on a secret.  Today is a special government sponsored holiday, 'Buddha Holiday'.  Until 2 PM all Tuk Tuks are only 10 Baht, temples aren't charging entrance fees, and the tourism offices are required to give discounted rates.  She shows you the only tourism office in the city run by the actual government, flags down a Tuk Tuk and gives him a list of places to take you. Off you go! The driver delivers you as promised to a couple fantastic temples, then to the tourism office where you book a two week adventure.  (Fact: there is no government holiday)
You happen to meet others staying in the same hotels you're staying in, for the same nights, with the same story.  Secret government holidays and 10 Baht Tuk Tuks.  All seduced by the same intricate scheme. (Fact: you have experienced an organized, efficient, nationwide, publicly perpetrated hoodwink.
You've been had.
Its not all bad.  We spent hundreds less than a couple of ladies from New Zealand..and compared to prices anywhere else in the world we're sitting pretty, pretty cheap.
I've been trying to convince Nathan to get a Thai massage with me..it costs about 5 dollars for an hour, but he seems to think our first massage experience should be more exciting than a random booth on the side of the road (of which there are hundreds).  We're holding out for a special program in Chang Mai...a rehabilitation program for convicts.  Women prisoners are taught the skill of massage, and you can get a 'practice session' for a bargain.  I'm still a little hesitant..perhaps a bit more concerned about being stabbed or held hostage than he is. 
We are currently in Koh Samui, a tourist ridden island off the Eastern coast of Thailand.  We have been warned that 'Lady Boys' are plentiful. I've been trying to catch a glimpse of one of these young boys dressed as a woman.  No luck so far.